Such A Time As This


The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy ~ Dr. Martin Luther King

There comes a time in all of our lives where we come to a crossroads and we will have to choose. The road of silence is appealing as it lures us with safety and comfort, while the road of speaking up often scares us as it is filled with challenge and vulnerability. Regardless of which we choose we will have to live with the implications of the choice we make.

What I am about to share began as a video and turned into a blog. I have prayed about it most of the day and finally walked away for a couple hours to think through which road I would take. Because you are currently reading my thoughts the answer is obvious. However, in the spirit of full transparency, know that hitting “publish” wasn’t easy, but necessary.

The last few weeks in our country have been tense, to say the least. A few weeks back we saw a young man of color shot and killed while simply jogging down the street. This past week we saw another man of color, in a video, beg for his life. A plea that met deaf ears and ultimately led to his death.

Ahmaud Arbery and George Floyd…they have names, they have a family, they have a story, and they leave a legacy. Both senseless murders, lighting the powder keg of racial tension in our country.

Over the last several days I have wrestled with the devastating circumstances of both their deaths. No political motivation, no race bait, no ulterior motive, just simple outrage and disgust over the lack of value for human life. My heart has agonized and ached as I have tried to find words to articulate the magnitude of the situation. I don’t think those words actually exist in the human language.

Racism is not getting worse, its getting filmed ~ Will Smith

People of color are hurting in the United States and they have been hurting for a very long time. Racism is not new, it’s a narrative that can be traced back to the very inception of this country. Which is interesting, considering freedom and equality are the cornerstone beliefs we were founded on. However, while the narrative of racism is not new; the graphic videos that we have all seen are. In the day and age when every one of us has a video camera on us at all times through our phones…the narrative has now been paired with very real and very horrifying visuals…not in in the 1860’s, not in the 1960’s, but in 2020 America. I don’t know how any person can watch the video of George Floyd, saying “I can’t breath” over and over again and not be disturbed. When we lose our sensitivity to the sacredness of human life, we lose the very essence of what makes us human to begin with.

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends. ~ Dr. Martin Luther King

In the last few days I have began to wonder, “where has the voice of the Church been?” What I have realized is that up to this point the voice has been very low, almost silent. However, I do not believe silence is an option any longer for the Church of Jesus Christ. The days of side stepping the issue and hoping that in the silence it will simply go away on its own, are over. Silence does not evidence a love for God or His beloved creation, humanity. In fact, what it actually does is perpetuate the problem.

Racism is a sin…period. There is no way to sugar coat it or water it down. But hear my heart…the fact that its sin, is not my truth, but rather the truth found in the Word of God.

 “Then God said, ‘Let us make human beings in our image, to be like us.” ~ Genesis 1:26

Every single person is created in the imagine of Almighty God.

Every. Single. One!!!!

Every race, every ethnicity. This simple truth leaves ZERO room or tolerance for racism in the people of God.

The apostle Paul writes to the church in Galatia

“There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male or female. For you are all one in Christ” ~ Galatians 3:38

This is a powerful reminder that all the worldly distinctions placed upon people, God doesn’t see. In fact, God only sees two things…people found in His Son, Jesus Christ and people who need a real and authentic encounter with His Son, Jesus Christ.

James, the brother of Jesus wrote…

“Yes indeed, it is good when you obey the royal law found in Scriptures: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” But, if you favor some people over others you are committing a sin.” ~ James 2:8-9

God shows no preferential treatment and it is a sin for His people to do so.


Because of the words of Jesus Himself when asked…

“Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?’ Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all you heart, all your soul, and all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself. The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.” ~ Matthew 22: 36-40

Silence is no longer an option for the Church of Jesus Christ because in order to truly love God we must actually obey Him. Obeying Him means loving our neighbors…all of them; not just the ones who look, think, and live like us.

This morning my heart was so heavy and burdened that I didn’t even want to get out of bed. The heaviness of the tension in our country lingered as I fell asleep to news clips of protests and rioting. America is literally on fire. Tempers are raging, hearts are broken, people of color are hurting, and that hurt runs deep. And the rest of us sit here trying to wrestle with the mess of it all.

And in our wrestling I think the realization I have come to is that most of white America does not understand the pain of this situation. We can empathize and our hearts can break, but that doesn’t mean we understand. I have a teenage son. I have never once worried that if he went out for a run he might get shot. I have never worried that my husband might find himself in the same kind of predicament as George Floyd found himself in. I’ve never been followed simply because of the color of my skin.

But our lack of understanding is not an excuse to remain silent. It means that we, as the people of God, must do a better job of building bridges and forging relationship to glean a greater understanding.

How good to sing praises to our God! How delightful and how fitting. The Lord is rebuilding Jerusalem and bringing the exiles back to Israel. He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. ~ Psalm 147:3

I believe with all my heart that the Church of Jesus Christ is in a season of purging and pruning. I believe God wants to bring revival to this generation. But revival will never come through a Church that tolerates racism with their silence.

You see the true beauty of the Body of Christ, the very thing that sets us apart is the fact that we are beautiful tapestry of differences. Different races, different ethnicities, different upbringings, different cultures, even different ideologies. Yet, we are all united in the oneness of Jesus, a bond so much greater than all the things that make us different. To sit silent, allowing one of the parts of our beautiful tapestry to be hurt or mistreated is a slap in the face to the One who created us all.

Make no mistake, this situation devastates the very heart of God. The root of racism is sin and where there is sin there is always brokenness and wherever there is brokenness there is pain and heartbreak. But God has promised to heal our broken hearts and bind our wounds. Healing and reconciliation; that is what God desires. The question is, will we be part of His solution or will we lend to the problem by not acknowledging there even is a problem?

Jesus is the hope of the world and the local church is the vehicle of expressing that hope to the world. ~ Andy Stanley

The events of the last week have been devastating, but the hurt and the pain does not have to have the final say. If we truly believe the promises of God are real, if we truly submit to His authority in our lives then He has positioned us in an extraordinary spot. He has placed in a time such as this to be part of the solution to a centuries old problem.

God will heal the brokenhearted and He will bind the wounds of the hurting, but we, His children, MUST be active participants of the healing process.


Through praying!

We need to get on our faces before Almighty God and confess our sin of silence and apathy. We must ask Him to interceded on our behalf. We must ask Him how we can be a voice of healing in the pain. And we must ask Him to allow us to see people through His eyes, not through the way we’ve been conditioned to see them.

Through friendship.

We need to sit at tables with our brothers and sisters of color and begin conversations and forge relationships. It in these circles we must humble ourselves and admit that many of us do not understand their experience but want to open dialogue to learn. Because knowledge eliminates ignorance.

I do not believe the problem will go away over night. However, if each one of us does something we can begin to move in the right direction.

Words which do not give the light of Christ increase the darkness ~ Mother Teresa

As hard as this chapter in human history is we must remember that hopes resides in the people of God. Within each of us is the hope of Jesus and we have the ability to share that hope in every interaction we have. Through the Holy Spirit, who dwells within us, we have the supernatural ability to be agents of healing and reconciliation. But we must first choose the hard road of breaking the silence…that is our first step on the long road ahead.

My prayer in writing this blog is that all of my brothers and sisters in Christ will join me in being mindful of the implications of our actions and inaction. That our one common desire would be to shine the light of Christ in the words we choose, the actions we take, and the posts we put out for all to read. There is enough darkness all around us, we do not need to add to it. In fact, I believe that God is issuing us all a challenge…will we be part of the change HE wishes to see in our world.

I’m in…how about you?




I think 99 times and find nothing. I stop thinking, swim in silence, and the truth comes to me. ~ Albert Einstein

For the last several years, as a new year dawns, I ask God to give me a word. A word that will govern the coming year for me.  Over the years words like, “trust”, “surrender”, and even “choice” have been noted in my journal. Usually, the word will come to me in late December and or early January, but what is most remarkable is how these words take shape in my life throughout the year. This practice always reminds me that God sees what we do not.


Yes, “silence.” That is my word for 2020.

January 2, 2020

I sometimes wonder if this will be the decade of silence for me…What does silent introspection look like for me? I am such an out loud processor that I am not sure. Yet, I find myself craving more silence.

January seems like years rather than months ago. As I reflect on my journal entries…just 20 weeks old…I am astounded at how God was preparing me for this season.

January 8, 2020

My life is loud…my words are often many…but I need silence. Like a desert thirsts for rain, my soul thirsts for silence.

When God gave me this word for 2020 I obviously had no clue what was about to unfold, but I did know that I would find Him in greater ways in the silence.

Everything we hear is an opinion. Not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth. ~ Marcus Aurelius

I have stayed relatively silent throughout the current situation we find ourselves in. Of course, I have had conversations with family and my closest friends, but publicly I have said very little. Opinions flow freely…why litter the already overcrowded pool with yet, another one. However, silence is not a reflection of a lack of an opinion…but rather the pondering of what to do with one’s opinion.

Yesterday we had a small gathering at our house; only 10 people for those who are counting. It was truly one of the most “normal” things we have done in weeks. As I sat in my kitchen with my aunt and my cousins I had a very unguarded conversation. In that moment I let many of the things that I have been pondering over for weeks flow freely. This morning as I awoke before the dawn the conversation played over and over again in my mind. I’m not sure if anything I said even made sense. But what I do know is that in the silence I have wrestled with two things in this season and they both poured out of me yesterday.

  1. What is God trying to teach us?
  2. What does it mean to truly live a faith over fear lifestyle?

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. ~ James 1:2-4

No shame in my game…I’m an extrovert…and a proud American. Therefore, I would be lying to you if I said I have always counted the “Shelter in Place” order a joy. We are the land of the free, we are not conditioned to be told to stay home for weeks with a goal line in reach only to have it adjusted and moved further away, several times. I have learned in this season that if you give me a clear “why”, my rule follower nature will come out strong. But, if the “why” is fuzzy or completely absent, a spirit of rebellion begins to rise up in me.

In this season, more than any other, I have had to wrestle with faith and politics. I have tried the reconcile Nikki, the Christ follower with Nikki, a person with political ideologies. What I have discovered; reconciling the two is easier said than done.

So what is God trying to teach me?

I think in every season God is teaching us something. In this season He has reminded me that His ways are not ours. He sees what we do not see and therefore He does what we would not do. My journal so far in 2020 has been so different than any other I have ever written, a dichotomy of thoughts. Questions and statements, introspection and reflections so all over the place, yet somehow there is a harmony to it all.

In my entries I wonder…a lot! Question after question. Yet, many center around the same thing, are we pleasing God? So many times I have wondered do we, as God’s people, fixate on things that do not actually matter to Him? Have we fallen into the same trap of the Pharisees and created God in our image rather than living in the fullness of being created in His? If we opened Scripture do we look like the people who set the world on fire for Jesus Christ or would Paul, Peter, John, and James scratch their heads wondering what in the world we are all doing?  Unfortunately, this is not the blog where I give you answers to these deeply complex questions. But rather a place that simply poses questions to ponder.

What I do know is that Jesus was never a political crusader. He never spoke against Rome, in fact He didn’t say much about Rome at all. And make no mistake, Rome was a pretty messed up place. The 21st century hasn’t cornered the market on sin and disobedience. Ancient Rome excelled at both as well. So as I wrestle with the political side of my personality I have spent much time in prayer asking God to check my spirit and attitude. Because a rebellious spirit, even if warranted, left unchecked can often leads to greater danger. One must always submit to the authority of God and allow Him to guide the steps that follow, whatever they may be. If I have learned anything in my walk with Jesus, it is that if God has called us to something, He will equip us for it. I have also learned that going rogue and then hoping God will bless it in the end is probably not the most prudent or prayerful approach.

All Scripture is inspired by God and useful to teach us what is true and make us realize what is wrong in our lives. It corrects us when we are wrong and teaches us to do what is right. God uses it to prepare and equip his people to do every good work. ~ 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Could this be a season of humbling and correction? I don’t know. But I do know I have spent more time on my knees praying prayers of confession and repentance than ever before in my life.  On behalf of myself, our country, our world, and yes, even the Church. The greatest sin of the religious leaders of Jesus’ day was pride. They thought they had it all figured out and in their arrogance they completely missed the Savior of the world right before their very eyes. Why? Because for Jesus to be right that would have meant they were wrong and their pride would have never allowed for that kind of admission.

I have found myself wondering if we suffer from a pride issue too? Pride of country, pride of political affiliation, pride of intellect, pride of academia, pride of doctrine? But please hear my heart, it’s not wrong to love our country, to have political allegiance, to trust science and learning, or to adhere to a certain theology. However, when those things become our fixation rather than Jesus we are diving into the dangerous end of the ocean. It is in this place that our need to be right and heard often overrules our obedience to being Christ’s ambassadors in our world.

Could it be the very thing that robs us of the peace that transcends all understanding and joy of simply being Christlike, is the fact that our pride often finds us living independent of God? We rely on ourselves, or our government, or our faith in human intellect when in fact, only God can prepare and equip us to live in a way that is pleasing to Him.

Don’t worry about anything; instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 4:6-8

What does it mean to live a faith over fear lifestyle?

When Covid19 began to unfold back in March the future for so many of us was so very uncertain and in many ways, it still is. My husband’s job is heavily tied to the food and restaurant industry and therefore job security was not a premium as every single restaurant across America was forced to close. We watched as people he has worked with for years struggle to keep businesses afloat. Our hearts ached as business colleagues who had invested everything in a dream saw it turn into a nightmare over night. Doors of restaurants we know and love will never open again. And this is just one source of worry in this season.

We worry about health, mental and physical…

We worry about our children who have lost important social interactions and valuable education…

We worry about job loss…

We worry about the political climate; the lack or abuse of leadership depending on where you sit in all of this…

We turn on the TV and there it is. We open up social media and there it is. We listen to the radio and there it is. We have created a culture that has made fixating and obsessing about this situation so easy. We live in a time when the conflicting voices are so loud that confusion and chaos reign.

Yet, in the silence we find the remedy for it all. For in the silence is God.

Instead of fixating on the news and Facebook, Paul says in ALL things pray to God. However, I don’t think that Paul is talking about simply bringing a laundry list of things you want God to do for you. I think Paul is saying, silence the world and simply allow the voice of God to be the loudest one in your life. Silence the world and allow the Holy Spirit to be your guiding force. Silence the world, seek the face of God and as you do watch your worry dissolve into peace.

Peace is not found in a vaccine or a cure for Covid19. Peace is not found in a certain political party winning an election. Peace isn’t even found in “Freeing Michigan” (although, I would like to give it a shot…LOL). There is only one true source of peace and that is Jesus Christ. Only when we fully trust Him, only when we fully surrender to Him can we have this peace the Bible tells us about.

Last night I shared with my aunt and my cousins that for Matt and I, worry isn’t something that consumes us. Not because we are super strong people or not worriers by nature…that could not be further from the truth. By nature I am a hot mess, prone to anxiety and fear. However, the Holy Spirit who dwells inside of me helps to override the tendencies of the flesh. AND…and this is a really BIG “and”…God has proven His faithfulness to us, over and over again. Through our son’s autism and our daughter’s death…God has been proven that ALL of His promises are true. The inevitable is that this life will disappoint us and bad things can happen, but Matt and I are living proof that God can turn ashes into beautiful things. So, when the worry begins to creep in, I return to the well of God’s faithfulness and draw from it. Knowing with full confidence that no circumstance is bigger than my God. That is not said to diminish healthy concern, we should all do our due diligence and be wise. Nor is it to discredit or belittle very really worries that people have. It is simply said as an encouragement; a reminder that where we are weak God is strong and where we fall short He is more than able.

January 8, 2020

Find me in the silence…

Silence is not a reflection of a lack of an opinion…but rather the pondering of what to do with one’s opinion and whom to submit it to.

Silence is the space where we shut off the voices of the world and shut up the voices of our own opinions and emotions…it is the place where God speaks.

If your heart is weary or troubled; if you are consumed with worry and anxiety; if your anger rages because of the political climate of our country…

Can I encourage you this morning…in the silence…to simply be still and know God.

In all seasons, in all circumstances, with a grateful heart know that regardless of what changes around us, God NEVER changes. He is constant, He faithful and He is good…always. He sees what we do not see and therefore does what we would not do. His plan and His timing are perfect…always. When we are slow to speak and quick to listen for the voice of God, He will guide our steps and His peace will rule in our hearts. That is not opinion nor is it a perspective…it is simply the truth of the Gospel.